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And please, don't try and feed the Daniel Radcliffe in my closet. He is not for sale. :)

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Last night was the big blogathon event. I stayed up about 17 hours, which is pretty darn good for me. Last night was one of the most funny, bizzare, crazy experiences I've had online. I made new friends though, which was great. I think I convinced most everyone that I am a chicken-licking freak, though.

Speaking of chicken, last night I had another freaky dream. I usually have those when I am about to pass out for exhaustion. Well, I find myself in my room, with my messy closet, and my mom tells me to get spiffed up or something. Next thing I know I'm in some oddly swanky resturant thing where a bunch of nicely-dressed people are. I wander over to a booth where Tom Felton (blah) and Daniel Radcliffe (HUZZAH!) are seated. I sit down and introduce myself and then Dan kisses me on the hand, which was... strange. It was one of those dreams where you can feel stuff, which I have rarely. And yeah, it freaked me out a bit.

Anyway, Tom, sitting across from us made an annoyed little noise or something, and I said "Your just jealous because your not getting any attention." 0.0

Then, all I remember is us talking for awhile, then ending up at an airport. We keep going on and off again, and then me and him are in this thing, and we are in this snowy hill and about to hit this cable car thing. It was entirely weird.

The end is pretty much us back at the airport hugging because I don't want him to leave. And then I wake up, which annoyed me even more.

I NEVER FIND OUT THE ENDINGS. Even with the wacked out dreams. *sigh* I was thinking about it the whole time at lunch, trying to decipher it, and my mom was like "Are you okay?"

Then she went into something about how she didn't like it here, and I thought:

"Wahh. At least you aren't lonely, cramped up in this stupid house with nothing to do other than pray that your dream will come true, when you would much rather be in London sitting at a little cafe with a laptop writing up a book or something."

I need a hug.

Witch Child
By Lorie L

In the mid-1600's, fourteen-year-old Mary Nuttall tracks her own life with journal entries in an enjoyable novel called Witch Child. Her many writings describe her grandmother's execution on suspicion of witchcraft, her journey in a cramped vessel on the sea to the new world, and her new life in the small forest town of Beulah. Once she arrives in Beulah, Mary stirs up gossip after she is caught voluntarily exploring the dark woods. Such adventuring was frowned upon by the leaders of the town, due to the numerous sightings of natives stalking the grounds.

When Mary finds that she has more than one enemy in the village, she is pulled into a whirlwind of accusations. The same minister who accused her grandmother of witchcraft comes to the settlement, and criticizes Mary's every move.

It doesn't take long for the village to turn against her; leaving Mary with two choices: either let herself be executed or flee into the woods. Although the plot has many twists and turns, the opening page telling the readers about the fake historical 'Mary Papers' is a ploy that could have been done without. In the beginning, they explain that the following entries were found sewn into a quilt's lining. They also ask for information if you believe Mary is your relative, which may confuse some readers, as it did for me. Although he ending explains most of the unanswered questions relating to the quilt, the book could have easily stood on it's own without the fake historical interruption.

The details and constant adventure in this book helped keep the interest flowing as I read, and made it hard for me to put the book down. One of the best parts of Witch Child are the many characters that are introduced throughout the book. Although many that I developed a love for are never quite followed-up on in the novel, Rebbeka and Tobias' blooming relationship adds a bit of happiness into Mary's sad and demanding life.


Witch Child was published in March of 2002, but has since topped many distinguished lists, such as the Literacy Trust's Top Ten Established Good Reads and was a Book Sense 76 Top Ten Title. Fans of other books such as George Speare's "The Witch of Blackbird Pond" and Ann Rinaldi's "A Break with Charity" will surely not want to miss out on this novel.

Screw everything in my last post. It is nothing. It will not guide me to happiness.

Why?

BECAUSE I'M HAPPIER RIGHT NOW THAN I HAVE BEEN IN... FOREVER.

I'm not kidding you. I'M GOING TO WRITE A STORY FOR ACED MAGAZINE!

THE MAGAZINE THAT DANIEL RADCLIFFE ONLY GETS A COPY OF. THE MAGAZINE THAT I HAVE SO DESPERATELY WANTED TO WRITE FOR SINCE I EVEN HEARD OF IT!

*dies*

I am tired of hating my life. I am tired of hating myself, and my own stupid choices.

This is why, starting tomorrow, I will be different. I am not going to let myself sit at this damned desk and pout because my life sucks. I need to stop hating myself. I need to stop. And I'm going to. I am going to love myself, and take care of ME. And when I do that, I know I'm going to feel so much better.

LORIE'S STEPS TO SELF-ACTUALIZATION

1. CLEANING ROOM I have cleaned my room so many damn times, it's astounding. But I never have really CLEANED it. I've stuffed things here and there until they are out of sight. Then I spend the next month worrying about my parents finding it. That, my friends, is STUPID.

2. CLEANING MYSELF No, I do not stink. But sometimes I do the very least to get by. I barely ever put on makeup anymore, and sometimes I don't get my clothes washed by the time I need to, leaving me without clean jeans the next day. Like I said, STUPID.

3. LOVING MYSELF AND MY CHOICES Holy bullcrap, that sounds like Oprah. But it's true. I've beat myself long enough for choosing to be homeschooled. I made that decision when I didn't know what it really meant, and I have to accept where I am now in life. I can be happy with who I am, I'm just not trying.

4. REPLACING INTERACTION WITH ELECTRONS Translation: I spend too much goddamn time on the internet. When I wake up, internet. When I get dressed, internet. After dinner, internet. And for what? I don't get much out of it. I love DMB, Hogwarts Reborn, and all of my websites, but they don't give me love and support and guidance like my family does. I need to spend time with them. I'm tired of locking myself in my room, like I'm some kind of hunchback, escaping from the world.

5. COMMITTING This is big for me. I have to follow these things, or I'll be back to being unhappy again. I'm tired of it all, and I can't believe how much of my life I've WASTED doing this. It scares me. I have to commit to being happy, and I have to follow it.


So, that's what I have to do. I'm not sure why I am posting this, but I am. Maybe it will help me somehow. Tommorrow, I am a new person. I will get this weight off my shoulders.

Depression will not own me again.